


Credit

by Jessie2126



Series: Madney Prompts, 1 Shots, and Drabbles. [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:54:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24329863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessie2126/pseuds/Jessie2126
Summary: This one takes place the morning after their hotel stay in s3 e13, Pinned.The Original prompt was:You don’t give yourself enough credit
Relationships: Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Series: Madney Prompts, 1 Shots, and Drabbles. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1760506
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Credit

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [You Just Had To Ask](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24291667) by [mamalovesherbagels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mamalovesherbagels/pseuds/mamalovesherbagels). 



“Chim, is everything okay?” He jumped slightly and looked over at Maddie. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, why?”

“Oh, it’s nothing, you just seemed like you were lost in thought about something, so I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

He eyed her contemplatively. Truthfully, he had been deep in thought, but he wasn’t sure if she’d want to hear what he had to say. But so much of her relationship with Doug had been built on lies and mistrust, that he wanted to try and be as open and honest with her as he possibly could. Also, if he could drop an I Love you, this technically should be much easier. “I just can’t stop thinking about her.”

“Who? The woman from last night?” 

“Yeah, I mean, I know she’s okay, but I can’t stop thinking about her. Like, is there anything more we could have done?”

Maddie eyed him with a calm expression. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even realize that it affected you so much. Are you doing okay stress wise?” When he was really stressed, Chim could sometimes actually vomit from anxiety. The first time she had seen that, it had absolutely terrified her, but as time went on, she learned to recognize the signs, symptoms and possible triggers for him.

He gave a quick nod. “Oh yeah, I promise, I’m absolutely fine on that front.”

She shot him a relieved smile. “Thank Goodness.” 

He paused for a minute before continuing. “It’s just, I know we did everything possible in the moment, but I can’t stop thinking about the what ifs. What if I hadn’t seen the ax? What if I wasn’t able to move that table? What if the damage to her pelvis had been more severe and we couldn’t use a table cloth to stabilize it? I know its crazy. This should be one of the best days for me. We just had a candle-lit breakfast for goodness sake, an I’m so sorry for making it all about me.”

“Oh, Chim, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for.” She sat next to him on the bed, rapping a comforting arm around his shoulder. “Thank you so much for opening up to me. All your feelings are completely valid. Also, don’t even worry about the timing of this. I’d rather you tell me than just keep this all to yourself. Was it something specific about the event?”

He shook his head. “No, or at least, I don’t think so. It happens a lot actually. Usually after a really difficult call. I just can’t stop thinking about all the details, and about the things I could have, or should have done differently. Even when we do manage to rescue the person, there is still the job of getting him to the hospital in one piece. Sometimes I wonder why I wanted to become a paramedic. If I mess up even a little bit, something can go wrong and someone can end up dying.

She paused for a minute, taking it all in. “That makes a lot of sense. It’s probably hard being the middle person. You’re not always able to rescue them during the emergency itself, and, once you drop them off, you have no control of their survival once they’re at the hospital. Have you tried talking to Hen about any of this?”

“A little, but I don’t think she fully got it. She’s an amazing partner and best friend, but she is one of those people who will jump in no matter what. She just seems like she’s always in control and like she always has the answer.”

Maddie held him tighter as her mind raced. It was interesting, she knew so much about him, but he also kept so much inside. “You know Chim, you don’t give yourself enough credit. When I look at you, I don’t see any doubt, hesitation, fear, or anxiety. I see someone who is calm, understanding, empathetic, kind, caring, and a million more things. You are one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met. Look at all you’ve done, all the people you’ve saved. Yesterday, you never hesitated once while we were treating her. And, even if there was more extensive pelvic damage, I know you would have done everything you possibly could to keep her alive until help arrived. You are also incredibly patient. I am not the easiest person to date, but throughout everything, you’ve never pushed, judged, or questioned. You are truly amazing; an I will always tell you that.”

He shot her a slight smile. “Thanks Maddie, that really means a lot. So much of my day is spent trying to never mess up and do anything wrong that I don’t usually think about what I actually did accomplish. I really needed that.”

“Of course, anytime, if those feelings ever come back, let me know, I’ll always help you through it.”

He nodded. “I promise I will. Now, we should probably hit the road before your shift starts.”

“Yeah, good point, I really had an amazing night with you.”

“Same, an I love you, an I don’t care if you can never say it, I really will say it for the both of us. I don’t need to hear those words from you to know how you feel. Your actions speak so much louder than your words. You, Madeline Buckley, are all I need.”

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for Chim to suffer from anxiety induced vomiting came from the wonderful  
> Chasingpurplepumpkins. Definitely check her out, her Madney angst is incredible. I love that theory, I think it fits really well with his character, an  
> I will definitely be exploring it more in future prompts. Hope you enjoyed this one, happy reading.


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